You know, that whole "gamer" part might be suspect too. Okay, so not that anyone is going to read this, but this really isn't for you anyways. This just helps me organize my thoughts and stuff and figure out where I'm at and where I want to go with this freaking hobby of mine.
I really wish I had the strength of will to only be in one hobby. How much simpler my life would be. Can you imagine only playing and owning for one single game? Instead, I have half a dozen or more game systems and new ones keep popping up. Honestly, I really feel it is a detriment to the hobby as a whole to have so many games. "Competition is good!" they say. Bah! All it does is fracture your audience and make finding games for any one system harder and harder. And you'd think that having a gaming club would be helpful. The bigger the player base, the better chance you have of finding someone else who plays or wants to. But it never seems to work out that way.
Of course all of that is pretty moot for me personally. Even when the club produces an opportunity to play a game I'm interested in, it rarely works out for my schedule. Or...I'd have to find something else to put on hold in order to attend. That and I'd have to actually leave my house and participate in said hobby. Not sure which one of those is less appealing....
It also comes back to the simple fact that I'm still having trouble enjoying it. I love buying it. I love getting a deal on models and owning them. But actually putting them down on the table and playing? Hell, even assembling them feels like a chore most of time. I wish I knew what changed. I used to attend tournaments. I would paint up whole armies, tweak lists, go out and actually play games...And I know I've talked about this before. Obviously my previous plans have all failed. I still haven't recaptured that joy. It would solve so many problems if I could. I'd actually assemble modes. I'd then paint them. I'd even go and play games. And the best part is, I'd have fun and my opponent would probably enjoy the experience too.
Hmmmmm "opponent". Now see that is probably at the top of my gaming issues. The person across from me is not a fellow hobbyist trying to enjoy this game...no..they are an opponent. Maybe I took Conan's guide to life a bit too seriously.
