The slate and how to clean it

So once again life has led me to re-evaluate my gaming outlook. Apparently I am just not getting it right. How can I tell? Well the total lack of follow-through is a big hint, and just a general lack of sustained enthusiasm. I used to attribute this to gamer ADD. But perhaps taking a more honest look at myself, it isn't the ability to hold focus that is the problem, it is the loss of joy in gaming as a whole.

My whole outlook is dooming my gaming. There once was a time where I built and played armies because something about them touched me. It appealed to me and my imagination on some level. It was fun just to put the models on the table.

Now, I'm somewhat obsessed with ensuring a good time while playing. Armies have to be fair, game systems need to be balanced....yada yada yada. Basically, there has to be this perfect storm of conditions in order for gaming to be fun. WTF? right? I mean, that is just the more ridiculous thing I have ever heard...and yet, that is exactly what I do. I have been on this search for this perfect game to make sure that I will have fun every time I play it. Guess what me...it doesn't exist.

So I need to go back and clean the slate. I need to get rid of all these silly notions on what should be, and try to capture that basic interest in the games themselves. What makes games fun? Playing them. Duh.

I need to just play. Forget about winning. Forget about probabilities. Stop worrying so damn much. Just build models that you like, paint them in a way that makes me happy, and put them on the god damn table! Roll some dice and enjoy the ride. I have enough stress in my life without making my hobby add to it. But that is exactly what I have done.

I have a few ideas about this slate and what should start going on it. First off, a return to my favorite game, Flames of War. FoW never disappointed me. I love my armies. So I'm going to start playing it again. I'm going to pull out my favorite armies for it and give it another go.

I'm also going to keep painting my Planetfall stuff. That stuff is ready, and it shouldn't take me too long.

I'm also going to start assembling a 40K force too. I have these models I really like, and I'm going to build them to make me happy.

If things go to plan, I'll be playing FoW, painting Planetfall, and building 40K. I'll be engaged in every aspect of the hobby, but with no real deadline or stress to get things done. I can just do it, and hopefully enjoy it.